I fought the lawn and the lawn....

In the red corner, we have the reigning champion. Heavyweight-hitter with a goal of world domination, Mr. weed-sucking-the-life-out-of-your-plants Dandy Lion!

(Crowd boos)

BOOOOOOOOO!

In the blue corner we have the challenging underdog, featherweight with a goal of yard weed annihilation, 5minutemom.

Crowd cheers

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

(random guy holds up JOHN 3:16 sign)

Oh, what's this ?Dandy Lion gives 5minutemom the squinty eye and says, "You are going down!"

5minutemom does some fast talking. "Dude, first I'm going to boil your roots and kill your potential to dig deep and fight against me....

...then I'm going to stick you with this sword...

You will never age.

You will not grow grey.

You will never see your grandchildren.

(Leans close and whispers)You will die alone and friendless.

Who wins?

Find out....

dunh,dunh,dunh!